Thoughts on Identity
We fight for a place in the world. This is the internal struggle in a nutshell. How do we fight for a place in the world? We do this is in part by forging an identity? How does one form an identity? Is it society? Is it a deeply imbued essence? Is it both?
It is my belief that we have a hand in forming our identity. Society has a roll. It steers us down a road in establishing who we are. Who we are is a negotiation between multiple perceptions including our own. This natural path toward development happens mostly without our conscious mind.
What if we could steer our identity, and form it to our liking? How would we do it?
We often choose what we do with our time in a conscious manner. This creates priorities. Our priorities inform ourselves, and the world of who we are.
If a junkie chooses to shoot up rather than fulfill his roll of being a father than we know what his identity is. He is simply a junkie. A part of his identity is still as a father, but he puts being a junkie ahead of fatherhood, and as a result his priorities reveal his identity.
If a person chooses to draw, and make art everyday as a priority this would indicate identity. Now, what if the artist is not making money from his art? What if nobody knows him to be an artist? Nobody knew Henry Darger was an artist, and he died alone without anybody seeing his work. Henry Darger was a janitor. This was a facet of his identity. The school he worked at saw him as a man who went to work throughout the week as a janitor. This is the negotiation of identity. He was fulfilling his roll in society, but still made art daily (albeit in secret). It was revealed after he died, that he was also an artist, and a tremendous one at that. The secret nature of this identity does not negate it.
Is identity something that can be easily summed up in a check box? Are White, Black, Asian, Gay, Straight real identifiers. To some degree these are identifiers. Would I have more in common with a White straight serial killer or a Black Gay artist? Obviously, I would have more in common with the Black Gay artist. In fact, I have a couple of those friends. Does this draw a light upon something Martin Luther King talked about? He spoke about hoping one day his children would be judged by the merit of their actions, and not the color of their skin.
So, once again, where do we go in forming an identity? It’s a negotiation. We’ve established that. We’ve also established that we can have identity, and not be recognized for it (but it still doesn’t negate that it exists). We’ve also establishment that big societal identifiers don’t tell us much about the person at hand. So, how do you determine the person at hand? We look at their priorities. We look at the person’s values. This is how we get a more accurate sense of who this person is on a deeper level. We can determine in a meaningful way what this person is. It’s beyond their physical. It delves inward to their very core.
I stated earlier that this book was more likely to be digested by young minds (if it is even digested at all). Now, I want to get into the preachy older brother identity for a moment. I’m speaking to you young Millenial folks. You have a real opportunity right now to determine the adult you’re going to be. You have a real chance get your priorities together.
Do you find yourself wallowing in a victimhood complex? Are you looking at what everybody else has, and feeling sorry that you don’t have it? Do you think that if you had more material things it would make the bad feelings go away? If you answered yes to one or all three of these questions than you have a lousy mindset. That’s okay though. We just identified the problem. It’s that simple. If you change the way you think you will be a winner. It doesn’t mean you’ll be the hotshot artist, make millions of dollars, or be a champion of the world. These things are physical manifestations, but don’t necessarily determine your relationship with the world.
When you begin to win in your own mind by having positive mindset you can make moves. You will have the clarity to ask yourself what you value. Probably, nobody has ever asked you what you value. There’s a chance you haven’t asked yourself that question so bluntly. If you find out what you value you can make superior decisions.
You can use your values to determine how you build your life. What kind of work would you like to get into? What kind of athletic endeavors make you feel good? What kinds of relationships do you want in your personal life? This is how you can develop your identity. Make sober decisions about your life, by clearing you mind, and connecting with your true self.
It’s not a one and done fix. It’s a process. It includes exploration. Cut out friends that weigh you down. Don’t stay in a job that doesn’t work with you to grow. Read as much as you can, and from opposite frames of reference. Go through life deliberately. Don’t get in your own way. Be your own best friend, and push forward.
You can choose who you want to be. In fact, you’ve chosen, thus far, the person you are. Now, determine who you are. Evaluate it. Do you reflect your values? Make the conscious decisions now to become the version of yourself you feel most exemplifies you.