Crack Open

This is a surreal time. It's the end of the world, and I feel fine... I feel fine, because it so isn't the end of the world. This Corona Virus has been hyped to apocalyptic proportions. I can almost tell based on people's behavior, and talking points which news network they watch. If you didn't get the memo CNN is basically like watching a marathon of The Walking Dead.

I'm not saying we shouldn't take all necessary precautions, and take the threat seriously. People are fighting over toilet paper. It reminds me of the time I was four, and I made a meal of toilet paper pellets for me and my pekingese to eat. Where were my folks when I was doing this? It's like all the parents have left the children to run amuck.

It's fun to see the Dems so joyous over this pandemic being a possible end to Trump's presidency. You think they would have figured out that they need cohesive reform of their platform, and who they have as their frontrunners. Maybe, they could think about how to better serve your average American... Nah, that wouldn't be as much fun as pooling all resources to destroy Trump.

This is also a strange shift in recognizing the all too powerful animalistic side to us. We have all of these frameworks in which to negotiate our human existence, but they are often so easily dismantled. Then, we are left without mommy and daddy state. We are left alone to roll up toilet paper into tiny pellets, and dine with our pekingese. The Lord of the Flies becomes all too real when just the threat of death is in the air.

So, don't lose your mind. Stop watching marathons of talking heads telling us it's the end of the world. Yes, this is not good. Yes, it puts a real damper on partying. Go ahead, and crack open a Corona. While you're at it make yourself a taco with all the fixings. Leave the toilet paper for your asshole, and know that it's all going to be okay. It's the end of the world, and we're all fine.