So, it's a new year. It's a new adventure. It's a new journey. I took a new journey a couple nights back. My brother and I ate a weed cookie after training wrestling. He advised me to eat the whole cookie. I agreed to it. I'm not much of a pot guy to begin with, and only eat it in small doses. When I do I feel like Shaft. It's strange that I transform into a 70's blaxploitation action-crime cop, but alas I do. I dig it. I really do. My ginger headed brother advised me to eat the whole cookie, and nothing but the whole cookie. I took my brother's orders.
We decided that we needed a movie to watch while the weed cookie worked it's magic. We decided on the third Purge movie. The Purge is a silly premise for a horror flick, but we went with it. It's about a dystopian future where America has decided to create a special day. On the evening of The Purge the country becomes a free for all. Anybody can kill anyone with anything for any reason, and not get into trouble with the law.
I know you must be asking yourself; why did these jerks pick this movie to watch while stoned? The answer is that I'm not experienced with weed.
We came upon a scene in which a group of Purgers brought a guillotine to the streets. They were chopping peoples' heads off! It's like the opposite of The Burning Man Festival. Burning Man is about bringing art or something beautiful to the people. It's an egalitarian, selfless, and an altruistic act. In The Purge, people bring fucking guillotines! It's bonkers.
Jake, and I watched as the head of a man was chopped off... and then the weed took hold.
It's about here that I started to freak out. The colors were brilliant. it was a lush lacquered scene not unlike a Caravaggio painting. The death was potent. The realization of the temporal nature of things made me spin around in my skull. I fled to the kitchen to grab a snack. I stuffed four dried dates in my mouth. The chewing took forever. I felt like I was now floating in space. I went for a banana. I ate it at the pace of an ant crossing a tundra. I thought when will this end? When will I finish this god forsaken banana? How long have I been out here in space (the kitchen) for? Is my brother angry? I then realized that I was an Ape from Planet of the Apes. Yes, it was all making sense. Thank god. I knew I was gonna get a hold of myself. It was fine. I was an apeman. I was slowly eating a banana in space, and my brother was Charlton Heston. I laughed with glee. Duh, I thought. I was so stupid... Wait a minute. Wasn't Charlton Heston the guy in space? The Apes were on the planet... thus, Planet of the Apes... fuck! "Okay okay" I thought, get back to Earth (the other room), and pull it together for Christ's sake.
I got back to the couch, and mellowed out. I was back with Charlton Heston (my brother). I was fine. It was fine. We were back at the Purge, and people were bleeding on the streets. Fuck, people were bleeding on the streets! Why are we watching this movie? I panicked. To my left the movie was playing. It was like a scene of Hell by Hieronymus Bosch. I turned away from the screen and looked out the window. It was peaceful. Then I was drawn back to the screen. It was like I was in purgatory between Heaven and Hell! I had to make up my bloody mind. Did I look at the screen with the bloodied faces or out the window to snowy streets?
Then, it all made sense! I was a mystic. Yes, I left the fake world and was seeing the world truly. I was an ancient Native American. Maybe, it was a past life. Yes, that's it!
I told my brother, "I'm a Native American, not like Elizabeth Warren though!"
"Yes, you're John Red Corn!" He exclaimed.
Yes, he could see me. So, it was true. I was, none other, than John, America loving, Red Corn! I had the power to manipulate nature, and bend it to my will.
I was pleased with myself. I was the master of all things. I was John Red Corn, after all. We were back on the streets of The Purge. It was fine. It was good. I would not be affected by the mayhem. I was an astral projection, and this was really more like a representation of the beginning of time. It was the big bang! Wait, did I hear a big bang?
" Oh my god... somebody just got shot in the head." I said as the movie raged on. I was succumbing to the dark energy. It was ruining me. Then we watched as people were being hanged... that was when my brother abandoned me, and fled to his room. I was left alone with these dead people hanging.
I struggled as I was lost in the movie. I lost my way, and couldn't figure out how to turn it off. I was an astral projection, and astral projections don't have flesh and blood hands. I felt like Malcolm McDowell from, "A Clockwork Orange". My eyes were wide open, and I suffered the mayhem. I reverted back to an apeman, and then I became Charlton Heston. Then I brought it back to, John Red Corn. It all comes back to John Red Corn. I pulled it together, and became solid. I turned off the movie, and sat in the dark.
Now, the Heaven and Hell was internal. I lived in collections of winding thoughts. They seemed to work in threes. Was it telling me something? Did the threes represent the holy trinity? Yes, I had worked out on Christmas day, and honored Jesus. He was lighting my way through the valley of the shadow of death.
I finally existed in the quiet, and purged the horrible images and demons from my mind. The guillotine was gone. The hanging bodies were no longer, and I was a calm mystic.
The next morning I was tired. It was as though I went on an Odyssey of Homer proportions. Now, I was me again. I was reborn, and back in my kitchen (which was deep space the night prior). I set up the tea kettle for a morning cup of Earl Grey. I peeled a banana, and ate it slowly. Could it be that I was an apeman, after all. No, sir. I was calm, present, and connected. I was John, freedom loving, Red Corn.