Poor Monica

I was twelve when the Monica Lewinsky scandal erupted. I didn’t understand much of the details. I only knew that a blowjob in the oval office was a thing of note. I was just a little whippersnapper, and all I was interested in were comic books and Power Rangers. I understood from teachers that this was totally normal in Europe (remember Europeans are far more sophisticated); Americans are hillbillies. Leaders in Europe always had mistresses so why were we so uptight? Hell, they welcomed Roman Polanski with open arms, so what if he sodomized a thirteen year old. Americans are so prudish anyway. I heard things like, “the attitudes towards sex in America is so puritanical.” I remember hearing that the Republicans were coming after the Clintons. Oh heavens, Slick Willy was being held accountable for the actions of that little slut. I was only a kid when this happened, and just took whatever the establishment told me as fact. I hadn’t learned to dig deeper yet. Remember the phrase, “The vast right-wing conspiracy.” This was thrown around as though Bill never did have an affair with Lewinsky; he didn’t abuse his seat of power; he wasn’t inappropriate. Obviously, we know that this scandal led to a trial in the senate of Bill Clinton’s impeachment. He was convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice. Bill Clinton was even disbarred. This did not ruin the Clintons though. Hillary Clinton even served as Secretary of State under Obama.

I don’t want to dwell on the Clintons. They’re going the way of the dodo anyway, and thank God for that. What I’m left with is poor Monica. Poor Monica Lewinsky fled the States, and lived in England. Her legacy became this scandal. She was demonized, ripped apart, became the butt of jokes and didn’t stand a chance. She was just a girl, and this girl was the first of her kind to be globally ridiculed. The Internet was now established. While Neil Armstrong may have been the first man on the moon, Monica Lewinsky was the first woman to be universally slut shamed. Some of us have the spoils of fame; some of us are cursed with infamy.

Poor Monica was just twenty-two years old when her sex life was broadcast twenty-four seven for all to witness. I can only think of the terrible mistakes I made at twenty-two, and I cringe. That young woman was eviscerated for the whole world to see. Any hopes she had of living a quiet life were blown apart with a wrecking ball. Fox News was cruel in their coverage of Monica. They used her as a weapon to once and for all end Slick Willy. Politics is a cruel game played by petulant adults. This was an explosive episode in modern day political warfare the likes of which we hadn’t seen before. Monica was the first of what is now standard issue.

We willingly post our personal lives to the world daily. We give up our privacy in hopes of attaining fame. Social media has left nothing to the imagination. If Monica had it her way she would have chosen to keep this secret to herself. There are things I’ve done that I would change if I could. Some of us have the luxury of moving onward from regrets. If you're poor Monica then it came close to crippling your adulthood. The mistakes of youth shouldn’t follow us around into our forties. We learn from mistakes if we even learn at all. Now, there’s nowhere to run to. Our past stays current, easily accessible to all who inquire via Google. Bill Clinton walked away from the scandal almost unscathed. The narrative was written, and Bill was almost heroic in it.

I consider myself a sex realist. I believe there are two genders. These genders are both important. They were created differently, and have different strengths. We need these two genders to get along, put their genitals together, make babies and raise them to be good adults; otherwise we can call it quits on existing. It’s a dance we’ve been doing since the beginning of our species. Women take on the burden of being pregnant and breast-feeding. It’s a full time job. Babies eat all the time, and sleep on their terms… God bless women. It’s a shame that women reap more of the social consequences of sexual indiscretion. Men are almost given praise for their conquests. This relates to our ancestral past. Men’s motive was to spread as much of their genetic material as possible. We don’t get pregnant so we can spread seed willy-nilly (or Slick Willy-Nilly in this case). Women are with child for nine months, and then that infant clings to their mother for a couple of years. Children aren’t even useful for at least another nine years. It’s a real commitment women engage in when they engage in sex. The advent of birth control changed this dynamic. The past isn’t easily erased though, and women still deal with slut shaming.

Poor Monica was a good girl. She made a mistake just like many of us have. Women statistically engage in hypergamy. This means they are wired to mate with a man higher in socio-ecomic and educational class. They rarely shoot below in these parameters. How is a young woman with surging hormones supposed to walk away from the President of the United States? I’m not saying Monica didn’t have free will. I only mean that who could really blame her? She was a kid, and made a mistake. It was unfortunate that this mistake was broadcast on the world stage. I imagine she may have paid her penance and then some during the coming decades.

Lord knows I willingly broadcast my own life to the world, and forget it can come back to stab me. I only hope that when that most likely happens the world is different. I hope that if I’m ever like poor Monica then I get a modicum of understanding. I hope the world becomes a little kinder, and we can understand a bit more. I’m sure the past will come for us all; historically it does. Now, in the Internet age, there’s no running away. The past wears a knife-adorned glove, like Freddy Krueger. You can’t even run away in your dreams. We’re on a 24-hour news cycle, so the wheels of demise never stop turning. It’s probably not a bad idea to sleep with one eye open, because if you don’t Freddy will be coming for you. The past exists in the present like a monster ready to ruin you in an instant. We are our own boogieman. We put our own private nonsense out there without weighing it. The carnage of this modern day can come for you with one stupid tweet, one stupid story or one stupid cartoon. Maybe this will make us a little kinder towards one another. Maybe we’ll cut each other some slack. I don’t think any of us can stand up to the scrutiny of daylight. Monica took a beating many of us would stay down for. She didn’t let it stop her from moving forward. So Maybe poor Monica’s legacy isn’t what it seems. Maybe the legacy of Monica Lewinsky is a message of hope. Monica didn’t allow this scandal to destroy her. She got into retail selling her line of handbags. She also pursued a master’s degree in social psychology at the London School of Economics. Now, she is a leader in the fight against cyber bullying. That resume isn’t too shabby for a lady who became synonymous with sex jokes. Let’s remember Monica as a hero who survived the cruel terror of the establishment, and came out the other side triumphant.