Art is something I can't give up. I can give up people, places and things. I don't know if I could ever stop. Why even ask that question? I've had two different endeavors pull me through life. Art and athletic pursuits. These would be the two things that remain constant as I travel down the road.
When I was a kid I remember having the feeling that one couldn't do both. I don't know where I got the idea from, but I thought artists were pussies. I thought that athletes were just jocks. A person couldn't be both.
It was years later that I began to realize that humans are multifaceted, and they can be many things at many times. I am at a point in my life where these things I've been cultivating are becoming something. I can't tell you exactly what it is, but I can tell you that hard work isn't a waste of time. No, I'm not a world champion (yet). No, I'm not hanging in the Guggenheim (yet). My Jiu-Jitsu and my art are uniquely me though. It took years of getting crushed to come out the other side to inhabit both of these realms.
I often wonder what is the end goal. I had ideas about the end goal in my 20's. Now, I'm very open to not knowing. I only know what I love at this moment. I love Jiu-Jitsu and I love art. Life becomes grey without these things. I went for a drive earlier along the coast. It is spring now, and things are becoming alive once again. I love living through the seasons, because they punctuate time. Life doesn't get broken up into chapters. It isn't a book or a movie. Its a contents flow from one day into the next. It is spring, but it's still chilly. I remember how I thought as a child. I thought artists were pussies and athletes were jocks. Now, I'm older. The season has changed, and that indicates to me that I've lived a little longer (which means I'm a little older). I know that artists have big balls, and athletes have complex thoughts. I know that everybody is their own person, and we all have to figure it out for ourselves.
I know that I won't give up art, and I won't give up Jiu-Jitsu. My ideas about both of these endeavors are sure to change. I am excited to see how they shape my life as I age. It's a new season with new possibilities. It won't be possible for me to continue on without continuing on with what I'm all about. We can always shed previous ideas; I'll leave those behind in the previous season.