I went back to the mats that I had claimed gold at twice before. Now, I'm brown; the mats are still the same though. The competition didn't seem tougher than what I had been exposed to previously. I've had tough matches, and have been able to pull off wins. This time was different. I didn't play the game. I claimed my bronze after blowing my first match on 2 points. Had I pulled my heel out of the half guard to assume the mount position it would have been a different story. They gave me two advantages for submissions attempts. Rules are rules, and sport means you accept the ruleset. That being said, I can totally be a sore loser.
Sport is sport; street is street; losing is losing. I understand these concepts, but it doesn't help the sting of disappointment. I will get gold at the Open for my brown belt division. There are four Opens a year. I will most likely get ready for the Open in the fall. I'm addicted to the experience. I'm addicted to the emotions. I can't emulate this with much of anything else. There is something exciting about this endeavor. I've only ever been as excited when my animations played at some festivals. That's about it. The stakes are real in this grappling art.
It's fairly objective. Sometimes, one athlete is favored over another by a referee. This happens in all sport. There is a certain amount of subjectivity to it, but with rules we dull those aspects. I spend a chunk of time in the subjective world. I draw and write, and these things are not objectively good. Some people like my stuff, and others wish the man would keep me down. The algorithms do a good enough job. I won't stop though. The subjective game can almost be harder to achieve a "win" in.
The objective game of sport Jiu-Jitsu means that one needs to score through takedowns, positions, and submission attempts. Of course, you can win the whole thing by getting a submission so clean that the opponent has no choice but to tap or suffer the consequences. I should know; I went to sleep at World's. Either way, everyone is toast when an objectively true submission is put on.
My art is a whole other endeavor. My book isn't really selling... granted I've barely advertised it. Marketing, cosmic timing, or the man upstairs decides whose work is meant for the spotlight. All I can do is be consistent with creating content. One day, my work may be seen by many more folks. My Jiu-Jitsu is similar. I need to stay consistent. Maybe one day I'll be able to pull off a higher profile win... anything is possible. I choose to stay optimistic; the alternative is not attractive.